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December 08 我的口袋,就剩下三十,噢不,三块?贫穷行者一周间.
一周间口袋里揣着三块,各种卡里不够ATM要求的五张十块.
如此这般到了周五时间过得很快,三块中的那枚钢镚又落入别人口袋.
路途就是这样也不会太坏,生命如海浪时起时伏你管它好赖.
December 07 在某处丢弃了狡黠却不实的假面 有趣呢，在网络上玩了几个年头，又觉得这不过是和睡觉一样以另一种方式浪费生命罢了。曾经在一个还算有名的论坛上混迹过竟也长达6年，某个月前重装了系统后丢失了收藏夹便终于下定决心没有再登陆了。今天看到有人在别处写到那个论坛的朋友，竟也有些想它了。
想归想，决定了不再去便不再去，国人是讲诚信的。明智也罢，背后终有负面的原因。留在那个论坛的除了和我一样淡去的朋友就只剩屏蔽后的空白了。
论坛是一种奇特的人生，低调，挑事然后怒放，然后再低调。形象不甚好，仍旧坚持自己略带邪恶的真挚，仍旧像牛虻一样刺激那些膨胀的皮囊。网络一如世界并非好坏分明，难做的是当好人眼中的坏人、坏人眼中的好人。神经质的少数派现在也就在自留的空间写些无趣的报告，望客人们见谅。 “银独这个名字到最后会变成印度吧？”
“嗯。” おめでとう。 November 30 大学以pomology结束了Ayaya,今天被李某兰执事阴到了,竟差点儿让我被葡萄老婆子唾弃.还好英雄好汉来相助,Afai同学雪中送炭,助我过关了.
Ayaya,眼前就只剩下paper了,倒也不是件轻松的事情,但考试终归结束了. November 25 京城初雪 迟夜阅读爱伦坡先生的乌鸦,毕了,到窗边汲水时,竟有幸于这沉寂的夜里遇见了京城的初雪.雪点儿细碎的很,这昏暗的夜里本是难以察觉的.无奈楼前无端立着明灯,那飘雪便被点亮了,清晰可见.身着单衣走出阳台,摊开手掌等待雪花落下,边看那灯下的雪舞.不一会儿便落入几朵,但这冬的使者已然完成了使命,没待我细看,转瞬融了,遗下点点水痕随我退回屋内.
京城岁岁披白袍,这景致随了我四载,今年似是最后一遭了.往后游学的城市大约也会飘雪,只是物是人非,更不是京城的雪了.料想初到国都,竟忽略了它所承载的光荣与沉重,只苦于这北地的冷气与干风.现而今诸多抱怨与不适又如何.京城,我辈何时再会你...
待重头,收拾旧山河,朝天阙... November 24 Le plus important est invisible"Ce qui embellit le désert," dit le petit prince,"c'est qu'il cache un puits quelque part..." November 23 Thanksgiving,for all of you,siblings,friends,guests~ It seems that today is Thanksgiving Day...almost forget...
So,
Thanksgiving,for all of you,siblings,friends,guests~
At last,my parents,thank you very much!!!!!!(On my knees) I saw blood everywhere That's so called Nightmare.
The locale of traffic accident,with crimson hue,which position in front of me.Without wreck, without corse,only crimson filled in my path I must crossed.
Those might come from a racing game,which is called Need for speed.At last,electic game is without reality.Crash,smash could occured times and times.But in my id cognition there was something absented,something necessarily.Inasmuch I completed the story in Freud's fairyland,then which threatened and trembled me so deeply.
This is so called dreamrecord,morose version. November 21 雾,落叶穿过白幕,踏碎片片落叶
闪烁的一地鹅黄,是蝴蝶的尸骸
阵阵旋风下眼见它们欢快地坠落
铺满了看不清尽头的小路
风又起了,那些蝴蝶飞进雾里
然后和这白霭一起消散了
留下一地鹅黄
早晨的雾大得仿是京城从来都没有这么迷离过,人群和景物一般陷入其中,甚至连疾走都得小心翼翼.但这白霭却湿润得如此亲切,我忍不住也融入其中,心想着穿过它便能见到故乡.但是我越走越远,连身后的景色都忘却了. 走出学院楼,雾也渐渐散开了.路上是银杏的落叶,再没有人帮她掩盖逝去生命的黯然.有几片落在风衣上,抑或是贴着我的步伐,几步后便离去了.眼前闪过一角绯红,花朵点缀其上.绯红是为了掩饰逝去的岁月,一霎也消失了,随风而来的枯枝残叶便到处都是.于是我闭上了双眼,去回忆那些白霭.直到双眼再次张开,风和枝叶依旧. November 20 每次梦醒都恍如隔世,思念和遗忘潮起潮落只是因为一个念头的固执,那虚幻的花便凋谢了.落得一地残肢断臂,随性且慵懒然后扑洒开来,随着鲜红色调的蔓延模糊了我的视线.俯身下去,满面温暖,熟睡了,却又冰冷起来.焦虑陡然而生,奔跑不及,跌倒不止.
Woke up in murk, Looking for twilight,endeavour to touch curtain so far away. It is still so far away.
想不起她说的话,想不起我的答复,想不起机器的位置.
触击着键盘,遗忘了的焦虑又伴随着恐惧袭来,只有虚弱的躯体摇摆不定. November 19 宁静地看着那些从眼前飘走的烟灰,一眨也不眨.知道又怎么样,不知道又怎么样,没人能真正了解自己的内心.
不是我跌下了枝头,是栖木太滑;不是我背弃了朝阳,是被褥太紧;不是我偏离了靶心,是步枪走火...
无论这皮囊可承受多大的压力,这颗红心总是被诸多的借口包围,收缩成团,紧张却安稳地跳动着.
Dance me to the end of love, then cry me a river...
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Today,bought Shiseido's Bodysoap. To recall the scent of Setagaya,Tokyo.
November 13 The Battle of Blenheim, by Robert SoutheyThe Battle of Blenheim
It was a summer evening,
Old Kaspar's work was done, And he before his cottage door Was sitting in the sun, And by him sported on the green His little grandchild Wilhelmine. She saw her brother Peterkin Roll something large and round, Which he beside the rivulet In playing there had found; He came to ask what he had found, That was so large, and smooth, and round. Old Kaspar took it from the boy, Who stood expectant by; And then the old man shook his head, And, with a natural sigh, "'Tis some poor fellow's skull," said he, "Who fell in the great victory. "I find them in the garden, For there's many here about; And often when I go to plough, The ploughshare turns them out! For many thousand men," said he, "Were slain in that great victory." "Now tell us what 'twas all about," Young Peterkin, he cries; And little Wilhelmine looks up With wonder-waiting eyes; "Now tell us all about the war, And what they fought each other for." "It was the English," Kaspar cried, "Who put the French to rout; But what they fought each other for, I could not well make out; But everybody said," quoth he, "That 'twas a famous victory. "My father lived at Blenheim then, Yon little stream hard by; They burnt his dwelling to the ground, And he was forced to fly; So with his wife and child he fled, Nor had he where to rest his head. "With fire and sword the country round Was wasted far and wide, And many a childing mother then, And new-born baby died; But things like that, you know, must be At every famous victory. "They say it was a shocking sight After the field was won; For many thousand bodies here Lay rotting in the sun; But things like that, you know, must be After a famous victory. "Great praise the Duke of Marlboro' won, And our good Prince Eugene." "Why, 'twas a very wicked thing!" Said little Wilhelmine. "Nay... nay... my little girl," quoth he, "It was a famous victory. "And everybody praised the Duke Who this great fight did win." "But what good came of it at last?" Quoth little Peterkin. "Why that I cannot tell," said he, "But 'twas a famous victory." //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// The accomplishment of a General based on thousands of bones. Meaningless. horseman, pass by. and,cheerio. November 03 A bird "I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
Without ever having felt sorry for itself."
It wasn't frozen,just nearly Like a jaguar licked the wound The bird of Jove conceals wings Should never fall Before a touch of mire No creature might saweth thee 'Tis an ascending fowl above clouds July 20 What is essential is invisible to the eyes"What makes the desert beautiful,"said the little prince,"is that somewhere it hides a well..." July 15 I'm forever blowing bubblesI'm forever blowing bubbles,
Pretty bubbles in the air, They fly so high, nearly reach the sky, Then like my dreams they fade and die. Fortune's always hiding, I've looked everywhere, I'm forever blowing bubbles, Pretty bubbles in the air. I'm dreaming dreams, I'm scheming schemes, When shadows creep, when I'm asleep,
United!(clap)United!(clap)United!(clap)July 14 天空的存在并不是为了掉馅饼或者别的什么 思想突然像步枪子弹一样集中了我，当我到在血泊里的时候才发现所有的一切都那么的接近却不可
触及。我现在终于愿意自己是那只被推下悬崖的狮子，要战胜的不仅仅是悬崖。那一切我所奢望得到的
都是占满了鲜血的钻石，一枪一个弹孔，为此我放下了人性的懒惰。告诉那些烈日骄阳下的孩子们，失
去的左手不能找回，那就把全部的力量用在右手上。Voila！那深陷在淤泥下的双脚仍在跋涉，瞬间血水
被冲淡，脚印也被淹没，不变的是到来的彼岸。 June 23 暂时不停 并不是我不想驻足,把自己安顿下来好似进入卧室的沙发,能够头脚颠倒地欣赏时间的流逝.风景会在窗外不停地变化,云彩和树叶都摇曳着,声音仿佛从全身进入了大脑深处,让我半梦半醒直到格局的变化.生活的巨轮又开始把我捆绑在它的轮面上,好让我碾过布满碎石和各种灰烬的道路,平坦却而研磨筋骨的道路,向无尽深渊坠落的瀑布,女人的胸部.舵手不能永远抓紧的舵轮飞速旋转着,带着叫嚣切割了从开始到结束耸立着的桅杆.水手们撕扯着帆布,带上致命的财产与无常的宿命周旋.而我只是抱紧我想要抱紧的,看着一个个躯体从狂风暴雨中消失,抑或是看着消失的自己.努力想要晕厥过去然后淹没在阳光沙滩上的另一种波涛中,却事与愿违.无比清醒地观望那些由远至近的快乐的食客们,我不知道是该先摆脱恐惧还希望.
窗子关上了,食客们也只好去别的餐馆寻找机会.我无尽惆怅地躺在人造革的面料上,看着窗外各种变换的图形,脑海中一个声音悄悄地对我说,你真的在选择吗?我闭上了眼睛,看到无数个我.你们谁喜欢吃榴莲呢?答案是不确定的.观察者在我的内心世界慢慢幻化为一缕青烟.一些我跟着它去了,另一些我睁开了眼睛,悄声地说着我无法辨别的话,声音从黄发到垂髫.于是我站了起来,活动一下筋骨,往布满水气的方向去了. PS:6.23下午去了趟五道口的易初莲花,顺便买了榴莲. June 20 随笔,致弱小的生命 凌乱是穴居者的美丽.角落滋生的虫豸们沿着窗户爬到了扎根者的头顶上,骄傲地扬起触角,享受君临天下的满足.阳光只是作为一缕渗透进来,就已经足够照亮他们的背脊,闪亮着金属的光泽,像身披铠甲,却没有虎符.爬行者是因为没有翅膀而低劣,失去了飞翔就失去了邂逅的快乐.那在傍晚的斜阳下纷纷的交会之舞,使吾辈不敢抬起头颅,害怕这狂欢的气息渗透进耳鼻口目.然而嘉年华是残忍的,坠地的羽翼从光华到晦暗,新的皇后又会出现在另一个黑暗的角落,延续着芥子里的文明. 离开夜晚的遐想神说要有光,于是便有了光.我双唇紧闭,光仍然盘旋左右,直到我睁开眼睛,才有了光.我见光是好的,但是光让世界索然无味.于是黑暗按时降临了,我那份跃动的好奇心被复苏,横行在母亲的平原上. 陆地是不够的. 当第一只鸟飞起来的时候,它就会被击落.当第一个王牌诞生时,没有人在为他哀鸣.秋天落叶的自然,铸就了坠落的神话,一缕轻烟或是一束茶花,没有一个穿着西装的人会去观赏那腐烂的宣言.当我还在飞翔的时候,我看见大地像被煎炙的牛排,嗞滋声让我垂涎.我拍着袖管,直窜云霄,就什么都看不见.飞翔成了一种无法言喻的孤独,四十七只天鹅引吭高歌也只是它的协奏曲.看着她们欢快的身姿,那些闪烁在云端的精灵们啊,请撒下你们的利剑,像雨点一样密集,像闪电一样迅猛. 如果我的翅膀只剩下脉,我还可以用胸膛飞翔. |
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